I hate Mondays

I know it is Tuesday, but I played hooky yesterday, so today is my Monday. I don't like it. So I have come here to complain.

Dear Boss:
Stop looking at me funny. I was really sick yesterday. cough. cough. sniffle. sniffle.
Sincerely,
MC

Dear Husband:
I am very proud of you for returning to school to get your degree. Thank you for telling me that I deserve a day off and encouraging me to call out yesterday. The next time I deserve a day off, kindly refrain from giving me a semester's worth of typing to do in one day.
With Love,
Your adoring wife

Dear Clients:
I understand that you have paid my company for a service and that my absence yesterday was an inconvenience to you. However, I have a lot of friends who have emailed me in the last several days to whom I must send responses. I'm sure you understand.
Always at Your Service,
MC

Dear Bitch Who Cut Me Off at Dunkin' Donuts this morning:
I hope you have ugly babies.
Signed,
Annoyed Chick in Ford Explorer

Dear Staple Inventor:
I'm assuming you invented the staple remover as well. I really enjoyed the staple that was lodged a half an inch into my thumb this morning as I was trying to remove it from some paper. Thank you for that.
Painfully yours,
MC
PS: If you think a tetanus shot is necessary, please respond.

Dear Coworker #1:
The next time you decide to change an entire system that is used by 50% of the office, it would be nice if you would send out a memo, email, note, reminder or a holler. This could possibly save someone (i.e. ME) a couple of hours of wasted work.
Your courtesy is appreciated in that regard.
MC

Dear Coworker #2:
I just wanted to let you know how I impressed I am with your inability to remember how to do the same task that I have had to show you every week for the last four months. It is amazing to me. I look forward to teaching you again next week. It really fills up some of that free time I have in spades.
Respectfully yours,
Amazed Me

Dear Mr. Ford:
When I brought the truck in for a tune up the radio worked really well. When I picked the truck up, the radio no longer worked. I'm glad that your service department denied having anything to do with the broken radio. My commute is not at all boring without a radio. It really gives me some time to get in touch with my true feelings: anger, resentment, bitterness. I am looking forward to the estimate on the radio repairs.
Your loyal customer,
Musicless MC

Dear Comcast:
My internet is still not working properly. You are fortunate that I am too lazy to call and disconnect the service. Otherwise, you would have one less customer. You should change your add campaign to "sucktastic". Please forward this to your advertising department. Also, you should send a letter of apology to all of the people who sent me emails over the weekend, since I was unable to respond to them and to all of my loyal blog readers. They have probably been bored to tears without me to entertain them.
Signed,
U Suck & Thank God I Have the Internet at Work