Dessert Abuse

I did an unforgivable thing.

On Sunday, I was having dinner with my family and I made dessert: Chocolate pudding pie and rice crispie treats. Good stuff. Since the full Thanksgiving worthy turkey dinner that my sister and mom made was so flippin' good and filling, nobody ate my desserts. Bastards.

Dilemma dilemma dilemma. What to do with the desserts? Mom did not want the contraband left at her residence since it would be too tempting, so both full desserts (well...there was one rice crispie treat missing. not sure who the guilty party is, but good for him or her.) went home in my car. Now, do I keep both decadent calorie laden dishes at my house to tempt me and Marty? Pawn them off on a neighbor? Throw them away (oh, hell no)? Hmmm. Chocolate is always good and the pie had one of the really good graham cracker crusts. And I have the can of RediWhip in the fridge ready to top the pie. Also, based on previous studies, I have found that Marty eats three pieces of chocolate pie to every one piece that I eat. So, my sins would be minimal. Rice crispie treats have butter in them. Fatty. But they also have marshmallows in them which don't really weigh anything, so I personally consider them to be a "lite" food. And they are cereal so I feel that it is okay to eat them for breakfast. Suger equals energy, which would make me a hyper, alert worker. To keep both desserts would be sinful though, so a decision had to be made.

After debating the pros and cons, on Monday morning, I decided that the pie was staying and the treats were going. Going to work with me that is. This is a two-fold bonus because I also look like a caring, considerate co-worker for bringing them in and I am not actually ingesting the calories myself. Nice. Well, I was running a bit late on Monday morning. Shocking, I know. Sunday evening I had decided that I would cut the rice crispie treats in the a.m. You know, cause I was gonna wake up early. Ahem. It didn't work that way in the morning. Yeah. I was running late. I had my lunch, my purse, my coffee and the glass Pyrex dish of rice crispie treats on hand. I grabbed my keys and ran out the door. I got to the car and went to unlock the door and... Shit. Wrong keys. I put down my stuff, grabbed the newspaper from the sidewalk, ran into the house, swapped the keys, dropped the paper, returned to the car and I was on my way.

Now, my commute is about 15 miles. I have three turns to Route 295, take it for 14 miles, take the exit ramp, proceed about a mile, turn right and then make a left into my office parking lot. Things were proceeding nicely for 90% of the trip. No traffic, coffee is delicious, it is a nice sunny fall day. I take the exit ramp from Route 295 and I hear a loud pop. A peak into the rear view mirror reveals bits and pieces of glass bouncing all over the ramp behind me. Running through my mind at the time: Some ASSHOLE has littered and left a glass bottle on the side of the road. If I have a flat tire, I am going to be soooooo pissed off. There is a chance that other drivers will get flat tires. Some people are such jerks and should go to hell for not considering others when they make stupid decisions.

Yep. I was really mad at the litterbug. Anyway, I got to work (only a couple of minutes late) and walked two laps around my car to survey the damage. It appeared that my tires were intact. Phew. Deep breath. It'll be a good day. Littering d-bag can't touch me. I grabbed my purse, my coffee and my lunch from the passenger seat and opened the back door to grab the delicious treats. The rice crispie treats were not there. Where are the rice crispie treats? And then I realized: on the exit ramp from Route 295. MENTAL REPLAY "drop purse, coffee, lunch, treats. Newspaper. Exchange keys. Pick up purse, coffee, lunch. Get in car. No pick up treats. FUCK. No pick up treats!?!?" Yep. I managed to make it 14 miles with a glass pan of rice crispie treats on my trunk. They weren't even fully on the trunk. They were hanging off like a good three inches. And not even a full mile from my office they fall off. How did I do this? How did no other drivers bring it to my attention? Why did they have to fall?

This is sinful since it is a blatant abuse of dessert. My coworkers were horrified by the story. More so because they all apparently love rice crispie treats. To rub it in: on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, there on the side of the ramp next to some broken glass was a sheet of rice crispie treats with only one treat missing. It was there to taunt me. This morning, it was finally gone. Hopefully to some nice squirrel or wild animal family with tough feet. And I have to go to Bed Bath and Beyond and buy a new Pyrex dish. Awesome.